Barbara - Menstruation, Hormonal Contraception, Trying to get pregnant - 06.02.24

I've always hated my periods. They were so painful and heavy, I felt like I was dying every month. I felt like I was different from everyone else, like I was flawed. I hated to participate during PE classes.
When I was 15, the doctor prescribed me a hormonal contraception that eased my pain. I was taking HC for 17 years.
2 years ago I stopped taking HC because I am trying to get pregnant. The problem is that till this day my period didn't return properly and regularly and I can't get pregnant. Again, I feel flawed.